Several few months ago, I found myself in a Facebook group that is pretty anti-adoption. The group probably started with good intentions. It was started to educate people about how adoption really affects everyone. Adoption is not all sunshine and rainbows. It’s really not. And for that…..the group was good for me.
However, as time went on, I found myself becoming a little more like them. I was becoming pretty skeptical about adoption in general. Which is funny, since 3 of my children are a result of adoption. I found myself feeling guilty that my kids were with me. I started wondering if I should’ve just invited the bio families to move in and cared for all of them. Honestly, it became quite ridiculous.
The truth is, I was listening to a few voices that controlled the group. It’s kinda like only seeing a family in Facebook pictures. We choose not to show what we don’t want others to see. Not to mention, these ladies were not looking through the eyes of a believer. In fact, not only were they not believers, they were pretty anti-Christian.
Last weekend, I went to a retreat with other foster and adoptive moms. It’s always a great time to relax, eat well, and catch up with friends. Not to mention, it’s the only place where we have the “smaller” family. 5 kids is the norm, not the exception.
However, several times this weekend I was thinking about God and adoption. Comments were made like: “God knew I needed this child.” or “God chose this child for me.” and I know why this was said. When we are in impossibly hard situations, it is so comforting to know we are still in the palm of God’s hand. Even if we don’t understand. Or, agree. Or, if it makes us mad. Or, if we don’t really believe it….
I found myself wrestling with what I truly believe about God and adoption. I’ve been reading articles, looking up Scripture, and staying away from the crazy Facebook page. And here is what I have determined……
God LOVES these children. More than we could ever imagine. He loves them so much, I am convinced the church will be held accountable for our lack of urgency in this area. However, I think this looks differently than I envisioned. My initial view of adoption, was simply the obvious choice over abortion. Black and white, really. However, it’s more than that. For the church to really get this right, there are so many things that need to change.
Women need to stop feeling shamed for terrible decisions. When Jesus met the woman at the well, her life was so changed (for the better), that she immediately ran back to her village and told everyone she met. Now, I’m no Bible scholar, but I have to think the first men she met at the village gates, weren’t the most impressed with her. They probably judged her like the rest of the people. However, that didn’t stop her. What she had encountered with Jesus was worth MORE than any ridicule or judgement they might pour on her. Imagine if our Jesus had the same effect, because others saw the change in us? Maybe abortion wouldn’t seem to be the only choice anymore? Maybe families could be changed?
Adoption is so messy. It really is. As a church we have to start embracing families. Of all kinds. There will always be families that end up broken and children are adopted as a result. But, I have to think that if our church had more community within communities……maybe more families could make it.
Adoption is a strong theme throughout the Old and New Testament. Sure, it looked different. It looked more like Moses in a basket in the Nile, and less like a postcard in front of a courthouse. But, I think I have to conclude this….
God loves us. So much that He sent His son to die for us. So that we could be adopted into His family. No matter what our past consists of. No matter what scars we have. No matter what hurts we carry. No matter what. Period.
So does God love adoption? Yes. I think He loves when we extend to others, what He extended to us. In a fallen world with broken and hurting people, adoption has been given as a way to restore children into families. Was it God’s original plan for the family? Of course not. But praise God, He made a way. He knew we would mess up.
If He feels this way, shouldn’t we all? The answer is yes. Foster care and adoption is not an option as Christ followers. It’s a command. Because if you love God, you love what He loves. And He loves adoption.